What is holding women back at work?

This is a loss for women, of course. But it’s also a social and economic loss for our communities and businesses generally. Research shows that everyone does better when women share the reins of power. It has been proven time and time again that: “Start-ups led by women are more likely to succeed; innovative firms with more women in top management are more profitable; and companies with more gender diversity have more revenue, customers, market share and profits.”

It’s taking a long time, but things are getting better for women. In health and education, most countries have largely closed the gap between the sexes; in politics, the gap is wide but progress rapid. But the most egregious gap between men and women is still in the world of work.

At work women are really struggling to catch up. They are paid less, they work more, they can’t get leadership positions, and most times women don’t think they can handle leadership positions.

If a woman comes across as angry or critical, she is rated as 35% less competent and worthy of less in pay than a woman who doesn’t rock the boat. Similar behavior by men costs them only about half as much in perceived fair compensation. Getting Mad at Work Can Cost Women R150 000 in Annual Pay.

The question is why this is so. There is a lot of answers e.g. culture, traditions, environment, education, beliefs, and values.  The list is long. Neither the less there is something bigger that woman can do to unstuck themselves. It is Wellness, whole wellness, women need to take care of themselves.

Example: When men are negotiating for a salary or salary raise they negotiate differently than women, they think of themselves before anyone, men ask for raise, men ask for promotions, for goodness sake why can’t we learn from men, men in half the world are allowed to cheat in the name of not being satisfied, men can have more than one wife, because one is simply not enough, the point is man take care of themselves and they don’t even have a thousand hormones raging in their bodies all the time every day, men have been advised since they were in their mothers tummy to do less house work so they can do well at work. Women need to take care of themselves

Wellness is the key to women doing well at work. What is wellness for women? Wellness is an active process of becoming aware of and making choices towards a healthy and fulfilling life.

"...a state of complete physical, mental, and emotional well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity." - The World Health Organization.

"a conscious, self-directed and evolving process of achieving full potential." - The National Wellness Institute

Wellness is more than being free from illness, it is a dynamic process of change and growth.

Wellness is very dependent on whole. Our minds, our emotions, and our soul must all enter the formula for wellness. Women's Wellness is all of this.

Women feel guilty about being at work, women feel guilty by being not at work, women feel guilty for going to work while they have babies, women feel guilty for not wanting to have babies, women feel guilty for putting their work first or loving their work more. Women feel guilty for not looking after their families when duty calls, women feel guilty when they don’t take work projects because they taking care of their families. We all seen or experienced this. I felt guilty for not taking maternity leave. Let alone the comments from people, I felt guilty. I have and most of us have suffered with this, but the truth is no matter what we do its still there, But taking care of oneself stops the suffering, when taking care of yourself you finally arrive at a place when you can actually ask the question” what do I want for me and only me”, and actually answer yourself with a truthful, non-judgmental answer that will lead you to a decision that you won’t feel shameful about and be at peace with the choice you make at the time. Understanding that whatever you choose to do is for you, and you actually the one that matters the most in this equation. Men do this with ease. We can do it also.

Wellness for Women have been mostly reduced to medical help which is part of but not whole wellness. We have all heard answer to questions like

“Do Oral Contraceptives Cause Mood Swings or Depression?”

“What are symptoms of premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD)?”For that the medical world has for us selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are the first line of pharmacological treatment.

This are good to have but there is a level deeper than this, a level where we as women need to take full responsibility for ourselves to open the can of worms and deal with what comes out face to face, it is not a pretty place, many times I have said “this is a lot, can’t I just get a doctor’s prescription” that is easy to do. Taking a weightloss pill sometimes from china is easy, all you need to do is go to marabastad in Pretoria. Dealing with the emotional and mental issues that caused the weight gain is a thousand times more difficult. I have been there, that is one of the places where dropping out actually makes a lot of sense.

I have worked with women who never knew they had been forced through Menopause, but just took their meds, it’s easy that way. We need to take responsibility for our own sanity. Our families need it, our communities need us more.

I strive to help women form clear questions, to find clear answers, gain a sense of empowerment through knowledge, and inevitably achieve peace of mind through total wellness. I offer information and an opportunity to question and share with others. For some women the anonymity of the discussion list allows for more freedom to speak openly and candidly. 

I hope that I can help women find ways to help themselves. It is my goal, it is my hope. It is what is getting me through the rough times in my life. 

Busi Selesho

Managing Director

International Certified Safety Leadership and Wellness Coach

@busiSelesho

Tel:  012 803 4241

Cell: 082 534 6625    

Fax: 086 660 4031

Email: busi@ist-hse.co.za

Web: www.ist-hse.co.za

Graduate of the GIBS - Goldman Sachs-GIBS 10,000 Women Certificate Programme for Women Entrepreneurs

Participant in the US Embassy Fortune 500 mentorship programme