This is a loss
for women, of course. But it’s also a social and economic loss for our
communities and businesses generally. Research shows that everyone does better
when women share the reins of power. It has been proven time and time again
that: “Start-ups led by women are more likely to succeed; innovative firms with
more women in top management are more profitable; and companies with more gender
diversity have more revenue, customers, market share and profits.”
It’s taking a
long time, but things are getting better for women. In health and education,
most countries have largely closed the gap between the sexes; in politics, the
gap is wide but progress rapid. But the most egregious gap between men and
women is still in the world of work.
At work women
are really struggling to catch up. They are paid less, they work more, they
can’t get leadership positions, and most times women don’t think they can
handle leadership positions.
If a woman
comes across as angry or critical, she is rated as 35% less competent and
worthy of less in pay than a woman who doesn’t rock the boat.
Similar behavior by men costs them only about half as much in
perceived fair compensation. Getting Mad at Work Can Cost Women R150 000 in
Annual Pay.
The question is
why this is so. There is a lot of answers e.g. culture, traditions,
environment, education, beliefs, and values. The list is long.
Neither the less there is something bigger that woman can do to unstuck
themselves. It is Wellness, whole wellness, women need to take care of
themselves.
Example: When
men are negotiating for a salary or salary raise they negotiate differently
than women, they think of themselves before anyone, men ask for raise, men ask
for promotions, for goodness sake why can’t we learn from men, men in half the
world are allowed to cheat in the name of not being satisfied, men can have
more than one wife, because one is simply not enough, the point is man take
care of themselves and they don’t even have a thousand hormones raging in their
bodies all the time every day, men have been advised since they were in their
mothers tummy to do less house work so they can do well at work. Women need to
take care of themselves
Wellness is the
key to women doing well at work. What is wellness for women? Wellness is
an active process of becoming aware of and making choices towards a healthy and
fulfilling life.
"...a
state of complete physical, mental, and emotional well-being, and not merely
the absence of disease or infirmity." - The World Health Organization.
"a
conscious, self-directed and evolving process of achieving full
potential." - The National Wellness Institute
Wellness is
more than being free from illness, it is a dynamic process of change and
growth.
Wellness is
very dependent on whole. Our minds, our emotions, and our soul must all enter
the formula for wellness. Women's Wellness is all of this.
Women feel
guilty about being at work, women feel guilty by being not at work, women feel
guilty for going to work while they have babies, women feel guilty for not
wanting to have babies, women feel guilty for putting their work first or
loving their work more. Women feel guilty for not looking after their families
when duty calls, women feel guilty when they don’t take work projects because they
taking care of their families. We all seen or experienced this. I felt guilty
for not taking maternity leave. Let alone the comments from people, I felt
guilty. I have and most of us have suffered with this, but the truth is no
matter what we do its still there, But taking care of oneself stops the
suffering, when taking care of yourself you finally arrive at a place when you
can actually ask the question” what do I want for me and only me”, and actually
answer yourself with a truthful, non-judgmental answer that will lead you to a
decision that you won’t feel shameful about and be at peace with the choice you
make at the time. Understanding that whatever you choose to do is for you, and
you actually the one that matters the most in this equation. Men do this with
ease. We can do it also.
Wellness for
Women have been mostly reduced to medical help which is part of but not whole
wellness. We have all heard answer to questions like
“Do Oral
Contraceptives Cause Mood Swings or Depression?”
“What are
symptoms of premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD)?”For that the medical world
has for us selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are the first line
of pharmacological treatment.
This are good
to have but there is a level deeper than this, a level where we as women need
to take full responsibility for ourselves to open the can of worms and deal
with what comes out face to face, it is not a pretty place, many times I have
said “this is a lot, can’t I just get a doctor’s prescription” that is easy to
do. Taking a weightloss pill sometimes from china is easy, all you need to do
is go to marabastad in Pretoria. Dealing with the emotional and mental issues
that caused the weight gain is a thousand times more difficult. I have been
there, that is one of the places where dropping out actually makes a lot of
sense.
I have worked
with women who never knew they had been forced through Menopause, but just took
their meds, it’s easy that way. We need to take responsibility for our own
sanity. Our families need it, our communities need us more.
I strive to
help women form clear questions, to find clear answers, gain a sense of
empowerment through knowledge, and inevitably achieve peace of mind
through total wellness. I offer information and an opportunity to question
and share with others. For some women the anonymity of the discussion list
allows for more freedom to speak openly and candidly.
I hope that I
can help women find ways to help themselves. It is my goal, it is my hope. It
is what is getting me through the rough times in my life.
Busi Selesho
Managing Director
International Certified
Safety Leadership and Wellness Coach
Tel:
012 803 4241
Cell: 082 534 6625
Fax: 086 660 4031
Email: busi@ist-hse.co.za
Web: www.ist-hse.co.za
Graduate of the GIBS - Goldman
Sachs-GIBS 10,000
Women Certificate
Programme for Women Entrepreneurs
Participant in the US Embassy Fortune 500 mentorship
programme
